paraprosdokian

taking short break cloud discussions...

 

these called “paraprosdokian” sentences or phrases.  a paraprosdokian figure of speech in latter part of sentence or phrase surprising or unexpected in way causes reader or listener reframe or reinterpret first part.  used humorous or dramatic effect.

 

some examples...

 

Ø   asked god bike, know god doesn't work way.  stole bike , asked forgiveness.
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Ø    not argue idiot.  drag down level , beat experience.

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Ø    going church doesn't make christian more standing in garage makes car.
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Ø    light travels faster sound.  why people appear bright until hear them speak.
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Ø    if agreed you, we'd both wrong.
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Ø    never grow up; learn how act in public.
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Ø    war not determine right -- left.
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Ø    knowledge knowing tomato fruit; wisdom not putting in fruit salad.
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Ø    bird might worm, second mouse gets cheese.
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Ø    evening news begin 'good evening,' , proceed tell why isn't.
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Ø    steal ideas 1 person plagiarism.  steal many research.
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Ø    how 1 careless match can start forest fire, takes whole box start campfire?
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Ø   i  thought wanted career; turns out wanted paychecks.
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Ø    whenever fill out application, in part says "if emergency, notify:" put "doctor."
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Ø    why believe when there 4 billion stars, check when paint wet?
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Ø    why americans choose 2 people run president , 50 miss america ?
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Ø    behind every successful man woman.  behind fall of successful man woman.
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Ø    clear conscience sign of bad memory.
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Ø    not need parachute skydive.  need parachute skydive twice.
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Ø    voices in head may not real, have ideas!
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Ø    borrow money pessimist.  won't expect back.
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Ø    money can't buy happiness, sure makes misery easier live with.
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Ø    cause happiness wherever go.  others whenever go.
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Ø    used indecisive.  i'm not sure.
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Ø    when tempted fight fire fire, remember fire department uses water.
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Ø    you're never old learn stupid.
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Ø    sure of hitting target, shoot first , call whatever hit target.
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Ø    nostalgia isn't used be.
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Ø    if supposed learn mistakes, why people have more 1 child?

 

very funny stuff!!

this reads steven wright monologue!

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